Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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