I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is my gift to your gina
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize