thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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