she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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