Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
