chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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