Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
