Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
