You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
