I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
