3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
