nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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