I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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