escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
