That's intense
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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