And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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