Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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