Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
