put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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