there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's the barista slut.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize