i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just puked most of my soul out..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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