so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
