Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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