i may or may not be watching the land before time
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize