i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he thought i was a dude.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
