At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
