She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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