i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need moral support for this bender
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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