i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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