Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize