You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
