I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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