Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
