I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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