No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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