was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i love accidental penises.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize