so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
