But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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