Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
