i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
