We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
