Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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