We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
