You can't motorboat a personality
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
