.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
