Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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