Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
