you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
