he thought i was a dude.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
