you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
