I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
