Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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