Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize