Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
