I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
