How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
