I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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