do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
