From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
