Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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