why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize