I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
