just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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