You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
