The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
