You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
