dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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