so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
