How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
