So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
