remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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