so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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