That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
