i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
this boner is exhausting
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
