I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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